Learning Your Partner’s Native Language

Learning a new language can be an exciting challenge, right? For the many reasons that you may be learning a new language, learning for love is like no other. The personal rewards that you achieve from it will double, as, like all of us in love, you will feel a deeper aspect of it.

Despite living in one of the biggest cultural hubs of the world, many Londoners still do not see themselves long term with a partner that is not from their culture. I myself never imagined falling in love with a non-English native speaker. By nearly committing to the idea that I had to espouse myself to the British culture, I realised how many of us take for granted the abundance of languages and communities that exist in London.

I had meddled with language learning before, with an A-level in French, and English actually not being my native language (as a native Spanish speaker)… I ambitiously took on the challenge of learning the Lithuanian language. Call me cray cray. 

I have yet to start forming sentences that don’t involve me describing my cat or counting up to 10.

I always believed that learning your partner’s language is one of the sweetest things you can do.

Why, you ask? Well… 

  • It will make them feel special. This pretty much goes without saying. This reflects the effort that you put into them as a person. It also sets a tone of admiration, a feeling of “I want to be like you”, which will flatter them as well as touch them.
  • It shows commitment. Whilst you can give or receive tokens of love and appreciation, intellectually investing yourself is an act of commitment that comes unrivaled. Putting in the time and effort (and even money!) in learning the native language of your partner shows them how invested you are. Why else would you be learning the language if not because you believe it will really come into use?
  • Why does “I love you…” sound more meaningful when we say it in a language that is not our own? Like the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words… or in this case, could it be the opposite? On many occasions, being told “te amo” and saying “aš tave myliu” have melted my heart more than any “I love you”. There are many ways you can express your love to someone, and somehow, by learning how to express these feelings in your lover’s language will show them how much you mean it.
  • Brings you closer to them. It is a known fact that by learning a language, you expose yourself to different ways of thinking. In this case, you will be getting a better insight into how your partner thinks. The more you get to know the language, the closer you become to their culture and begin to understand it. As humans we naturally want people to be interested and understand us. When someone shows an interest in any form, we feel special, even if we won’t admit it. Having made the effort to gain a deep understanding of that person’s language and culture will not only make their day, they will appreciate you more for it.
  • Brings you closer to their loved ones. This may only apply to those families that speak very little to none of the common languages you and your partner use. By being able to introduce yourself, and at the very least hold some sort of decent conversation about absolutely anything – for me that will be me telling them about my cat, and possibly randomly blurting out the date or time. It will add to their idea of what kind of character you are. If you want to be in the family’s good books, this is a safe bet.

Tips & tips

Here are some tips that helped me, which can help any aspiring language learner get started on their journey. Just reading this is a start, so keep listening:

  • If you have a native speaker at your disposal, use them! You won’t get a better understanding of the language than with first-hand lessons on it. Although it may not be so technical you will be able to see how the language is really spoken, something that is very useful to know. If you have ever taken language classes and tried to put them into practice with native speakers… You realise how alien you sound…
  • Apps! Apps! Apps! These have been my go-to learning resource. There will often be a couple of apps dedicated to any language – believe me, if I can find at least one good Lithuanian language app, you can find anything. An amazing app I have found is Simply Learn (pictured below), which comes in over 50 languages and has amazing material. The beginners’ basic category is free. For an upgraded version where you can learn from all the categories (pictured below), it is only a one-off payment of £8. It’s worth it.
  • Google really is your best friend. Like always, Google will come to the rescue in your desperate, lazy, worrying times, and many more. The Google Translate app is free and you can download pretty much any language, which means you can use it offline to translate anything at any time. Pretty handy, right? This has been my underground entertainment since downloading it, just out of sheer curiosity you will start learning how to create sentences.
  • Immerse yourself every once in a while. Find some music that you like, in the language you want to learn, read a children’s book, find a film or TV streaming platform and watch with subtitles. This may seem difficult, perhaps too difficult at this stage, but you are teaching your ears to listen to (or to read) the language which will make it way easier to pick up in the long run.
  • JUST DO IT! You can do it. Learning a language is one of the most worthwhile ways you can spend your time. If you want to become a pro, you will. It is not an overnight success, and some languages may be harder than others (yes Lithuania I’m looking at you) but it is not impossible. Even the slightest bit of genuine effort will get you a long way.

Do it for love, my loves, and enjoy the amount of appreciation and love that you deserve in return. 

24 Responses

  1. So many good points about why learning your partner’s language is important – I especially liked the part about how saying “I love you” in a different language seems more meaningful. My partner’s native language is English, but we are learning Japanese together. It still brings us closer even though it’s new for both of us, it’s like our special thing haha

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a lovely post Lavrax! It is probably something some people don’t even think about, but they absolutely should! I think it is important to be able to communicate with everyone! The only words I know are ones I’ve picked up from being on holiday and listening to Maluma! I’m definitely going to look at the apps xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Paula |The Value of a Moment

    Yes!! Yes to EVERYTHING in this post!! My husband and I are both native English speakers, but I speak fluent French as well because I have a large extended family in France. He’s been saying for years that he wants to learn French so that he can speak directly to my family, but no sign of learning it yet. On the bright side, my daughter Colette has been taking French for three years, and I had such a wonderful experience with her in France this summer seeing her bond with my aunts and uncles and cousins. Learning a language is a huge undertaking, but it really does mean the world to be able to directly communicate. Fantastic post, Lav! 💓💓

    Liked by 1 person

  4. crystal torres

    My hubby is Colombian and I am Puerto Rican we speak the “sam” language but different dialect and its been a 15 yr long fight whose language is proper and correct lamooo Great Post!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have to admit I am pretty terrible at learning a foreign language. Considering my background (part Belgian) you would think I’d be ok. My Mum learned English as a second language when she was a small child.

    When I lived and worked in London, all my friends were from different countries. I loved all those different cultures. I tried to learn Polish but just couldn’t do it. Huge admiration for anyone who can speak more than one language.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes he knows a few Italian words but he couldn’t have a conversation with me, I am a bit disappointed as my mum, who’s 58, has just started an English course because she wants to be able to speak to my other half! Finger crossed, I do hope he will speak a bit of Italian one day x


  6. I love this post! I’ve been trying to learn Chinese for my partner (albeit slowly) because I want to eventually be able to hold a conversation with his mother in Chinese. I’d say “I love you” is definitely different in their language. His form of “I love you” in Chinese is “lao cong” or “husband”. I think that reaches him more than any I love you in English. haha! Now if only he’ll learn Vietnamese too!

    Liked by 1 person

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