Struggling relationships with your family are more common and complex than those sappy Hallmark movies make out to be. And struggling family relationships don’t need to always end the same, finding the way to deal with your family, with whatever the issues may be, will help you feel at peace.
It is the truth that not everyone has a supportive and caring family that they want and deserve, thus the way out of these struggles is to simply accept where you are at, and make the most of this situation.
This is from personal experience only. If you are seriously struggling, please consider speaking to someone about it. You can always message me.
Reminders & tips for those struggling with family
- Understanding that each of your family members has their own struggles. The actions of others may reflect what’s going on in their own lives.
- Everyone has their own ways of being – which means not everyone may show affection, love, compassion, the same way that you do. This doesn’t mean that your family don’t care for you.
- People are allowed to make mistakes and they’re allowed to be themselves. Understanding people’s mistakes means understanding them, and that may just bring you to feel closer to them.
- People are allowed to have their own comfort zones. Similarly to everyone having their own way of being, someone may not be comfortable with showing too much affection. And accepting their boundaries will mean accepting and understanding their behaviour towards you.
This is all based around understanding, which means that a lot of it has to come from you and you accepting other people as they are. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try to also get to know your family a bit better.
Sometimes we wish we weren’t the ones making the effort, but it may just be worth it at times. As someone who has constantly suffered with anxiety from a young age in family settings, it is fair to say that opening up to your family will take a lot of bravery on your part. Particularly with those struggling with mental health, even smaller steps will help in having better relationships.
- Open up about your day when someone asks, maybe tell them something that you liked/didn’t like and how it made you feel
- Ask them about their day, what was good/bad about it. Let them open up to you
- Ask them to accompany you somewhere, this could be as simple as asking them to go to the shop with you, going to pick something up etc.
- Plan a surprise together. Like getting another family member a gift, there’s nothing purer than bonding over getting someone else a gift!
Of course, every family is different, and depending on those struggles, you have to see whether it’s healthy to see them through or to simply just let go of them. Remember that your health is more important than anything anyone can put you through.