I have always been a fragile person, wearing my heart on my sleeve, and becoming too invested in the people that I meet. This has not been a good mix so far in the mean world of sales. Although I learned a lot about “adulting” and such, I learned that sales is not for the sensitive kind.
Getting fired was a simple process; I was taken into a room, walked out with my self-esteem crumbling behind me.
How it affected my mental health is not uncommon, just like when many of us go through misfortunes and it affects us. I will be specifically going through the professional aspect of it.
I thought I had lost control of my life.
I can say that a lot of people that suffer from mental health problems have a sense of not having control perhaps over their life or over their emotions. This will often lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms that are sadly too common in people today, from substance abuse, self-harm and self-negligence to say the least.
Being fired can trigger this feeling again, as you may be going from stability to most likely being unstable at that moment in time. That’s enough to throw you.
The best advice that I could have received when I felt unstable was to remind myself that there are people around me that are able to support me emotionally, and if need be financially.
You can also help yourself stay in control of your emotions by doing these useful things:
- Look at the big picture. This is very hard for people that anxiously pick at every embarrassing and belittling moment that they have had, but get yourself to ask “how important is this right now?”
- Realise that you can ACT. You are still a fully functioning human being despite your illnesses.
- Keep your mind active. Keeping your mind busy by taking up a hobby, for example, painting, hobbies will help you stay in control of yourself. You choose when you want to paint, you choose what colours, where, how, who and why you paint. You are the creator.
My self-esteem dropped
I felt humiliated at the thought that someone thought I was doing my job so bad that they couldn’t take me any further.
For those who are particularly self conscious in every day life, you will find yourself wondering throughout the day if you’re good enough. This can change in all aspects, am I good enough as a person? At my job? At my friendships and relationships? The answer is, if you’re trying your best at it then your best is good enough.
For many of us we always have a voice in our heads that wants us to believe that we are not good enough. What we need to do is fight back. I know fighting gets tiring, but the alternative is worse. Fight back and force yourself to believe that your best is good enough. Say it out loud, the voice in your head can’t speak up because it doesn’t have the power: YOU have the power to speak up.
Where is my life going? The loss of purpose
Particularly in your 20s you may often feel like your life isn’t heading anywhere, and feeling lost is not a good addition to this. This can overall leave you feeling without a sense of purpose. Just as you settled into a job all of a sudden you’re out of it, how do you cope with not feeling like you’re particularly skilled yet you need to find your place as a professional?
The answer is that the majority of people in their twenties feel lost, confused, and without a sense of purpose. They work for money, and use that money to survive. I had read somewhere that people don’t peak professionally until they are over 30 years old, and the millennial mind is not accustomed to this. We want to feel like we’re making a change and we want to feel needed. The truth is, you are needed. Maybe not where you’ve just been fired from, but someone out there is looking for exactly you.
The best way to find out exactly where you are needed is to try out new things, new hobbies, new jobs, and new positions. This will lead you to find out what you’re good (and not so good) at. You will be grateful to yourself that you managed to put yourself out there even if it backfired on you at times.
I am now still trying to not let it knock my self-esteem too much that I won’t be able to apply to another job. Even though it hangs over your head for a while, people get fired all the time, even the good ones.
Don’t let it get you down for too long, remember that you need to get out there and kick ass again very soon!